Thursday, July 07, 2005
Been busying myself with what are 8-12 hour days, trying to stay awake past the midnight mark in an attempt to rid myself of the dreaded thought of everyday routine. All this busying has me seeing that I never will be capable of a 9-5 job, always having been one who prefers the chaos of an erratic schedule.
I'm looking forward to the weekend away. And whilst considering that, I think I might suffer from a chronic case of multidirectional buyer's remorse; the regret of having bought something versus the remorse of deciding to leave it behind. And the mechanism that underlies all this is the parsimonious concept of commitment; deciding to undertake an event versus living with the decision that I passed up the opportunity.
Tonight, I realized that perhaps it might be more suiting (or otherwise rewarding) not to be the jack of all trades, but just the master of one. And perhaps it is so that should one only be good at a single thing, that sole thing becomes everything, and when you lose it, there is no more hope for something better. And perhaps the glory days of love and triumph simply aren't enough to cover it all. But oh, if only for that tiny moment of knowing for certain that what you do will be legendary; the closest possible thing to a fountain of youth.
sherry @ 9:05:00 pm
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