
Saturday, April 15, 2006
many things.
- The apartment we're looking at has a balcony, perfect for yoga in the mornings and guitar playing. There is a park across the street lined with rows of trees that promise to provide many climbing opportunities. Better yet, the park is always full of people walking their puppies. I want the affection of a puppy's company without the practicality of raising it. Wouldn't it be nice if we could have only the good side of things?
- All I've had today is two large coffees and two sesame seed bagels; my dietary options are in serious need of revision and broadening. Also, three people in the last week have told me to start eating red meat; nutritional reasons considered, it is alarming how ridiculously stubborn I can be.
- I have two exams to finish before this term is over; I can hardly wait. There is so much to look forward to in the summer. I'm still not sure how distance will change us, but I trust in this too much to think it would ruin us. That aside, my contract is also ending, and it is an understatement to say that I am estatic about never having to unwillingly mediate another conflict in my life. Also, there is playing at the concert on the lake to anticipate.
- I miss my brothers, lovers of reptiles and race tracks each. They are both handymen, you know, builders and assemblers of things; the oldest one with his computers and his fishing paraphernalia; the middle one with his aquariums and his cycling thingamajigs. Yes, I miss my brothers; what's taking them so long to invent the teleporting machine?
- Sometimes we just lie under the covers with our eyes closed, pretending we're asleep. And every now and then, I try to sneak a quick little peak at him; and sometimes, the best times really, I catch him staring at me. It reminds me of a scene in eternal sunshine, all this talk under the covers, just two souls wrapped up in sheets. And you can feel the world disappear; it has no hold, no bearing on anything. Such an intimacy arises, allowing for all those unspeakable things. And I want to write them down, all the things he says to me under these covers, all these words that pulpify my heart and leave me speechless; I want keep them with me, safely nestled between the sheets of my paperback, inked down with a kiss.
- Three years come tomorrow. Death must be lonely, because you are still here with me.
sherry @ 2:25:00 pm
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