Wednesday, October 04, 2006
about time for some contemplation
Drowning in the sounds of Amos Lee and Ray LaMontagne, perhaps it is time for a little bit of contemplation. There is so much to say but the words that I'd like to use don't sit comfortably at my fingertips. There is always here and there, right and wrong; there are always choices, but there isn't always a choice not to choose. And I feel that I've become comfortable here, that I've found a life for myself, a place where I could grow (old). There still is the same hope here that I came here for, the same hope that my life would be bigger than I thought it could be, the same hope that anything is possible.
But there are always other things; obligations, practicality, guilt, blood and love. How could I be a dreamer floating on the sacrifices you've made for me? What can I do when you tell me to be the selfish one? There are so many questions, so many things I no longer know. I wonder where all my friends over there have gone, how do you fit back into the lives of people you once chose to leave? I wonder if the home I miss is the home I will go back to; it has been so long now and we all know that places change, people change, the things in between change. But most of all, I wonder if I could find contentment back in an island so small and closed.
But what matters, and what doesn't? All this thinking leads, still, to nothing. I don't know, I don't know.
I. Don't. Know.
sherry @ 9:29:00 pm
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